New Moon in Review

As with my review of Twilight, this is going to be an honest and fair look at New Moon, the second book in the Twilight series. I have to say that Twilight wasn't quite as bad as I was fearing, and that while it was awful, there were a few redeeming characters and moments that at least made the experience bearable.

New Moon offered nothing of the sort. This was 563 pages of literary hell -- pure torture to read, and not even all that fun to write about. In my review of the first book, I mentioned that I could at least see how the target market might be attracted to the story, but in New Moon, I just can't see it. For 80% of the book, Bella walks around being mopey and complaining about how she'll never be the same now that Edward has left, refusing to even try to get over it or make something of her life. She's absolutely insufferable towards most of her friends, and downright cruel to her "best friend" Jacob, who was the real star of this book. Of the three leads, he's by far the most believably human -- yes, even more so than Bella, the actual human.

New Moon also continues the fine tradition of promoting unhealthy relationships, this time extending that into the realm of friendship as well. Bella constantly takes advantage of the fact that she knows Jacob has feelings for her, then gets mad at him whenever those feelings surface. Jacob isn't a saint either -- if you want to be someone's friend, it's probably best not to try to sabotage their relationships -- but at least he's honest about his feelings. Oh, and these two people are supposed to be best friends. Right.

But of course, this pales in comparison to the continuing saga of Bella and Edward. Bella is such an incomplete person -- I think it's because Stephenie Meyer never finished writing her -- that she can't have a life without Edward there. Her life revolves completely around him (to the point where she makes a planet/moon analogy to this effect), and when he leaves, she might as well cease to exist. Bella has a phenomenally low amount of self-esteem, constantly telling herself an anyone who will listen how Edward is way too good for her. Of course, Edward only hurt her for her own good, so we know Edward hasn't changed at all either. No need to consult your girlfriend on relationship decisions or anything. And if you like well-defined gender roles, this is the series for you! Bella basically says flat out that she can't understand motorcycles because she's a girl. Nice.

As for the plot, New Moon's isn't really very objectionable, to be honest. The biggest problem isn't what's in the plot, but the fact that the entirety of what happened in the novel could have reasonably been covered in just a few chapters. Edward leaves a shattered Bella behind, Jacob is a werewolf, werewolves hunt Edward, Bella saves Edward, the Volturi are bad dudes, Bella wants to become a vampire. Got it. Meyer turns that into over 500 pages by including lots of references to Bella clutching her hole, along with bouts of moping, fretting, and hallucinating. It would have been able to get through it much more easily if some of my favorite characters had stuck around, but most of the book takes place without Alice or any of the other interesting Cullens. This book is even more Bella-centric than the first, since she spends so much time alone; her and Edward are still the two worst characters in the novel, and the two that get the most written about them. At least Alice shows up for some awesomeness late in the book, but it's far too little, too late.

New Moon was far worse than Twilight. There's no real action, lots of Bella moping around doing nothing, and even the "drama" at the end is so ham-fisted and predictable that there's nothing dramatic about it at all. It's boring, banal, and just plain bad. Read at your own peril!