Chapter Twenty-six: Repeat after me: Jacob is going to be okay.

In case you were wondering, Jacob is going to be fine. I'm going to cut out every reference to that fact in this chapter, which makes up about half the word count.

So, Bella hangs out with Alice doing girly stuff for a bit, but she really wants to be with Jacob when he wakes up. Instead, Alice encourages her to lie to her father about everything that happened today -- all the dead vampires, the werewolves, and so on. Bella wants to know if she'll be crazy like the vampire girl, Bree. Alice thinks that she might be like that for a couple years, but maybe not; Bella's the first human she's ever seen make a conscious choice far ahead of time to become a vampire, so she might be more ready to handle herself when the time comes. On the other hand, I think Bella's pretty insane right now, so vampire Bella is going to be bonkers. Could go either way; the Cullens will babysit her to keep her from massacring all of Forks, though.

Bella also wonders why Alice's power works with her, when most other ones fail. I was ready to attribute it to extremely sloppy writing, but Alice thinks it's because she's not doing anything to Bella's mind; she's just reading her future, not invading her brain area. Jasper's power works on the body as a whole, so Alice says that's why it works on Bella too, even though way back in the first book Bella showed a pronounced ability to resist it that we're deciding to ignore now.

Bella goes back home, where Charlie is suspicious, but not too suspicious. I'm sure he makes a great cop. Bella convinces him that she was on a shopping trip with Alice, and that right after dinner, she's going to La Push to see Jake. The cover story for Jacob is that he got into a motorcycle accident, which seems to satisfy Charlie's exemplary detective skills. Apparently, Jacob was cursing a whole lot.

Charlie mentions that weird things were happening all day, like Billy constantly being preoccupied and wolves making lots of noise and stuff. But he chalks it all up to a bad omen for the "accident." You'll get to the bottom of this one yet, Chief Swan!

Bella saw Jacob when he first came back, and she thinks he looks really fragile, since he's all hurt and stuff. Plus, Bella plans to hurt him more...in the heart. Though she really wishes there were two of her, so one could go live with Jacob while the other got her sparkle on. Speaking of which, Charlie feels like he's going to lose Bella soon, and asks for some advance notice before she elopes with Edward or anything. You're getting too close, gumshoe!

So Bella heads down to see Jacob, and wants to know if he's okay. He says he can't feel his injuries for the moment (he's got lots of fun drugs in him), and asks if Bella's okay. Was Edward mean about Jacob and her making out before the battle? Of course, he wasn't, because he's an impossible character, kind of like one of those optical illusions that can't exist in physical form. This pisses Jacob off, because against anyone with a real personality, this would have caused some sort of tension at the very least, and given him a chance to get back in the Bella sweepstakes.

Jacob regrets nothing, because at least now Bella knows she loves him. However, Bella wonders out loud if it's worse for Jacob now -- he's still going to lose, but now he knows he was that close to having little werewolves with Bella. He doesn't blame Bella for anything, but she insists that he hurl insults at her, so he does. And it makes her cry. Sigh. Jacob says he'll try to be good and just let things take their course.

The worst part for Jacob, he says, is that he knows how things would have been, since they're so perfect for each other. It was only the interference of stupid supernatural creatures that changed things. Well, that, and Bella's awful decision making. The worst part for Bella is...that she could see it all too, and she wants it, but just wants Edward a little more. Well, that's not very original, Bella. You pretty much copies Jacob's answer, only made it even worse for him. Nice job!

Jacob asks about the upcoming wedding, and Bella gives him all the relevant details. She's kind of scared of becoming a sparklepire, since she doesn't like pain, and will miss all the humans in her life, and might lose all control and her current personality, and mostly because there's very few good reasons for what she's about to do.

They say their goodbyes and their I love yous, and Bella says that she can't wait to see the girl that Jacob falls for, because she'll probably either think she's not good enough for Jacob or be insanely jealous. Oh, Bella, if only you could see a book or so into the future...