Chapter Fourteen: Alice Cullen, President of the Party Planning Committee.

Bella is freaking out. A little bit of it has to do with all the vampires who want her dead, and a little bit more comes from the fact that some of her favorite vampires and werewolves might die trying to protect her. But most of all, she's really upset that Alice wants to throw her a graduation party.

And not just any party; this one has a massive guest list. There might even be some visiting vampires to help deal with the newborns that have been running around. After all, killing innocent men and women who have already been murdered once and are just starting to get used to their existence as vampires is what all good heroes should do. Actually, Bella wants to get a head start on losing her vampginity so she can help out, but Alice points out that she's useless. I mean, would be useless, since she'd just be another uncontrollable newborn.

Anyway, that can wait, because Alice demands that everyone pay attention to her amazing party, which after a cancellation from Bella's mom, still has a guest list of 65 humans and vampires. At least she won't be around to get eaten, Bella muses.

In case you've missed the Bella/Edward romance scenes I've mostly skipped over lately, here's one I can give you the play-by-play on. Bella kisses Edward. Bella continues kissing Edward. Edward pulls away to avoid eating Bella. There, now you don't have to read that scene 50 times like I did.

Edward is going hunting with his family again tomorrow. They'll be hunting a lot to stay near their peak strength. It seems human blood would make them slightly stronger, but they're not willing to abandon their morals just to make themselves better fighters. Since there's no such thing as donated blood and certainly Bella wouldn't be willing to bottle and save a little to hand out as snacks on the day of the fight, this idea is dropped without another word.

While Edward is out hunting, Bella's going to hang with Jacob down in La Push. Doesn't it seem like I've typed these sentences at least a dozen times already? These novels are nothing if not repetitive! When Jacob comes to pick Bella up, he's thinking something very loudly that makes Edward pretty unhappy, but the sparklepire won't spill the beans. Oh, and if you didn't get that subtle magnet analogy from a few chapters ago, Stephenie Meyer actually spells it out for you here. Considering her fan base, it's probably necessary.

Jacob is really tired. Like, more tired than I am of reading these books, even. He's been running double shifts to protect Bella, mostly because Sam doesn't trust the vampires. And nobody has any new information on whoever was in Bella's room. So, overall, things are going great for everyone!

Bella wants Jacob to come to her graduation party, since it would be a little less stupid if her best friend were there. Whether or not a werewolf can actually show up at a vampire house and not cause trouble is yet to be seen. Jacob can't really get into it; all this talking with Bella combined with his exhaustion is enough to cause him to fall asleep.

While Jacob is sleeping, Bella thinks about a lot of stuff. I don't care, you don't care.

Jacob wakes up a few Emerils later. Bella's just glad Jacob got to take a wolf nap, but Jacob's mad because he's running out of time with Bella and he wanted to talk to her. He really wants to talk to her...uh-oh.

Slow down Jake, let's talk about this. Believe me, I know what it's like to have a very cool girl for a best friend -- okay, in your case, it's a very clumsy girl, but still -- and how sometimes, that can be a little bit confusing. I know, right now you're thinking you want to be with Bella, but I think her and this Edward character are probably going to make it, and you need to realize that and be happy for her! Sure, for the moment you think you might have feelings for her, but for all you know, this time next year you'll be in love with her half-vampire baby daughter, and that won't be creepy at all. The key thing here is not to fly off the handle and say things that you don't really mean, the kinds of things that can only lead to trouble. I have faith in you though, Jacob -- you wouldn't do anything like that, right?

I'm in love with you, Bella.

Oh, for Christ's sake.