But she forgot about Alice, the future seer, who will certainly see the wedding sooner or later. Of course, for now, things are a bit fuzzy; she's getting too much werewolf interference, and it's driving her crazy. It's going to snow in the mountains though (in June!), so she's at least capable enough to warn Bella to pack some warm clothes.
Edward and the Cullens have plenty of camping gear, since they pretend to camp all the time to cover up their insatiable blood lust. They pack some up for the trip, and Edward suggests that Bella call Jacob so that they can get ready to go.
Bella calls, and gets Billy instead. Billy says he'll call around to get the word out to Jacob, and wishes he could be there to help out in the fight. This causes Bella to muse:
The urge to fight must be a defining characteristic of the Y chromosome. They were all the same.
You still don't quite get it, do you Bella? It's not that guys like to fight in general: it's that we're always willing to fight in defense of people or things that are important to us. Now sure, after a few drinks, that might be whether or not the Yankees suck (they totally do, wanna fight about it?), but usually that means someone or something we love. Do you not get that all these people love you very much Bella, and would rather not see you torn to shreds by an army of newborn vampires? Is it really THAT hard to understand? Get over it, and try to remember that in your case, all your loved ones are superhuman monsters who, beyond their amazing array of powers that make them nigh-invincible, are also protected by the plot armor that comes from an author who is clearly incapable of killing any characters she might care the least bit about.
Anyway, Billy wishes the Cullens good luck, which Bella is nice enough to pass along. Alice demands an audience with her, which frightens Bella a little bit because she's been in a really pissy mood all day. Turns out, of course, that she's already seen the wedding and is pissed off that Bella plans to sneak away without inviting her. When Bella says she can come, Alice still isn't happy -- she wants to plan the whole thing.
I'll skip all the whining and just let you know that Alice eventually wins. Moving along...
Edward and Bella make for the clearing, setting a smelly Bella-scented path for the newborns to follow. Since this is an appropriate moment for wedding planning, Edward reminds Bella that she doesn't have to give Alice what she wants -- Bella should have whatever wedding suits her best. Bella is smart enough not to say that the right answer to that is "none at all." But Bella is happy with the idea of having Emmett read the vows after he gets a license off the Internet.
Bella wants to be the smelliest trail maker ever, so when she accidentally cuts her hand, she bleeds all over the forest to drive the newborns even wilder. Turns out that Edward is soooo over the whole wanting to eat Bella thing now, and can handle giving her first aid by himself.
Anyway, Jacob shows up. Boy, this is a long chapter, not that anything much is happening in it. Jacob is going to carry Bella around a bit, masking her scent on the way to their campsite. Jacob mentions that the storm coming in must be bad, because there aren't even any animals out today -- it seems almost unnaturally bad weather is coming into town.
Oh, then Jacob asks about the big rock on Bella's charm bracelet, which makes her realize it's a diamond. We weren't supposed to have figured that out immediately? I didn't even imagine it was being played for a surprise twist or anything. Maybe the readers are just more insightful than the characters or the author.
Then Jacob and Bella spent several pages talking about how Jacob sexually assaulted Bella last time they hung out. Really, that happens. And the whole time, Jacob tries to convince Bella to let him try kissing her again. Yeah.
Moving right along, Bella is still super guilty about making Edward stay with her, since she now feels that if someone gets hurt, it'll all be her fault. Just like had she let Edward go and he got hurt, it would have all been her fault. Or no matter what she had decided, anything that went wrong would be all her fault. Girl has a major guilt complex.
Bella decides that Jacob is still her best friend, even after the whole assault thing. That's nice of her.
Turns out Jacob plans to camp with Bella and Edward until Seth takes over just before the fight tomorrow. Not like, in the tent or anything; Bella isn't quite that kinky, and Jacob wouldn't like the smell. Bella asks if he can't just stick around with them since he'll already be there anyway, just to keep him there and away from the fight, but he doesn't go for it.
Bella asks about the whole "being second in command" thing. Turns out it's because Jacob is, of course, the great grandson of Ephraim Black, former Alpha wolf and Quileute chief. Given that, Sam was more than happy to put him as second-in-command. But as Bella points out, if it's all about lineage, really Jacob should be the chief. Turns out Jacob just doesn't want the job. It's a whole lot of responsibility, and you don't even get a raise or extra vacation days.
Bella and Jacob reach Edward's camp as the wind starts to pick up and the snow begins to fall. Jacob turns into a wolf again so he can communicate with the wolves back home, while Bella gets nice and cozy in Edward's tent. Everyone is calm, secure in the knowledge that Bella is completely safe, and Stephenie Meyer is certainly not the kind of hack writer that would turn that would use a cliche like turning that safety into a liability that gets her put into the most dangerous place of all. No, that would never, ever happen.
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