Chapter Nineteen: Werewolves have serious issues.

Bella wakes up the next morning, having fallen asleep on the way home from the vampire-werewolf playdate.

Edward is very moody today, because Bella let Jacob give her a charm bracelet and she never lets Edward give her anything! Since this is soooo unfair, he makes Bella promise to let him give her a hand-me-down charm so he can be represented on the bracelet, too. Whatever.

Alice calls with some visions, blah blah blah, Bella wandering in the forest, and so on. She still wants to be in the clearing, since Jasper mentioned how useful that would be. Personally, I think she just has a death wish, and possibly some sort of martyr complex. Edward won't allow it, but Bella says she'll have Seth take her to the clearing instead of staying put -- Alice's vision didn't see Bella in the clearing, just wandering around aimlessly because she couldn't find it when she tried to come get herself killed (hahahaha, she's so useless!). Edward points out that he'll get Sam to forbid Seth from doing that, but Bella counters that she can get Sam to see the value in having her there. Edward throws out his trump card: he'll tell Jacob, and Jacob will order Seth, which he can do, since he's the second in command.

"Shit," Bella thinks, "I didn't know that." She also knows that Jacob would totally be on Edward's side. Game, set, and match -- the supernatural love interests win again!

Edward has learned a lot by listening to the pack think amongst themselves. Here's a rundown of his juicy gossip:

• Turns out it's not just the grandsons of the tribe that can turn into werewolves. Leah Clearwater has joined the pack, much to the chagrin of all the boys.
  
• Leah is causing trouble by making everyone else in the pack see her malicious thoughts. Thoughts like...
• ...how Embry's mom is totally not from the Quileute tribe, meaning that his dad must be from the tribe. And it's probably one of Billy Black, Old Quil, or Sam's dad. They all hope it's Sam's dad, because he was a loser anyway, so nobody good would take a hit to their reputation.

Bella realizes she's being distracted by Days of our Werewolves, and brings the subject back to being in the clearing. Then she realizes that it's not so much that she wants to be there (yeah, right), but that she wants to be with Edward. And everyone agrees that beating the newborns is going to be so easy, that someone could even sit out.

So...why not Edward?

"Shit," Edward thinks. "I walked right into that one."

Edward agrees to go talk to Jasper about this, since he prefers it to having Bella in the clearing. In the meantime, Alice comes to watch Bella. She's really sick of of Bella's complete lack of faith in all of her friends, just like the rest of us. It's just that it makes no sense at all, Bella. I know you don't want them to get hurt, but you do realize that they're freaking werewolves and vampires, not some overprotective jocks, right?

Alice has sneaky plans too, in order to get Bella with them when the newborns arrive. She tells Charlie that the rest of the Cullen clan is going camping this coming weekend, and that she'd really like someone to go shopping with. Charlie suggests Bella, and agrees to let Bella have a sleepover with Alice over at her house. Vampires > cops, yet again. In reality, Alice will be hunting with the rest of the family, while Edward kidnaps Bella. They'll have the whole house to themselves...oh la la!

Back at the clearing again the next night, the vampires and the werewolves play nice again. This time, it's just Jacob and his wingmen Quil and Embry, who will pass the information along to the rest of the pack. Jacob chills with Bella in wolf form, and she really doesn't even need Edward to translate. She's freaked out about werewolves getting themselves hurt. Wolf-form Jacob laughs at her, just like everyone else.

In fact, wolf Jacob is pretty much how Bella remembers old Jacob. He's friendly and comforting and slobbering all over her. They even engage in some heavy petting when Edward isn't looking. It's easy for them to be friends when Jacob can't let stupid shit come flying out of his mouth every 15 seconds or so.

Bella takes comfort in her warm furry friend, and gets ready for her big hike to her hiding spot tomorrow night. Meanwhile, the sparklepires have fun pretending to kill each other so that they'll actually have fun killing newborn vampires in a couple of days. Just a reminder: these newborn vampires are completely not in control of their own emotions and actions, and were innocent victims of vampire attacks just a few weeks or days earlier. Our "heroes" are about to slaughter them wholesale in a completely one-sided fight. Enjoy the ethical ramifications of Twilight!