Chapter Twelve: The last horse crosses the finish line.

For someone with so much experience dealing with invincible vampires who sparkle in the sun, Bella isn't very open-minded about the possibility of other mythical creatures living in her neck of the woods. That tapping at the window isn't Victoria, it's Jacob, trying to keep his promise of being a friend to Bella, which is a whole lot more than she deserves. But Jacob is hopelessly in love, so climbing through her window to try to explain things is, from his perspective, the least he can do.

Bella isn't going to just let Jacob storm in and make everything okay, though. This boy gave her a hole, and now she has two holes! In her chest. See, Bella keeps talking about these holes -- first, a hugely deep one that Edward left in her chest when he left, and now a companion hole, slightly smaller, that Jacob has created by running out on their friendship. First, let's get all the obvious sexual jokes out of the way. Go on, I'll wait.

Tee hee, holes.

Anyway, you'd think these holes were metaphorical, but sometimes...well, sometimes I'm just not sure. Bella sometimes can't walk or move because her hole hurts too much, and she physically grasps at it because she's in so much pain. I'm going to admit that I have no idea how I'm supposed to imagine this happening in my head.

So yeah, holes!

Anyway, Jacob is here to apologize, even though Bella wants to throw him out. Yes, your best friend was a jerk for like a week after you've pretty much misled him since the moment you met him -- you definitely have the moral high ground here, Bella! But then Bella sees Jacob, and he is HUGE and HOT. I mean, hot in the sense that he radiates a lot of heat -- Bella can barely stand to have his hands on him. The she almost faints, because that's her second best skill after clumsiness.

Dizzied, Bella lets Jacob talk. Jacob attempts to explain that he's sincerely sorry, but that he literally can't tell Bella the truth about his situation, much like she can't talk to him about the Cullens' secret. But in this case, Jacob says, Bella already knows everything she needs to know to figure this mystery out!

Hahaha, good luck there Jacob. That's like asking Bella to walk across a yard without tripping -- it isn't happening anytime soon. But he tries. He gives Bella clues: he told her stories about Quileute legends that day they met in the first book. But Bella can't even recall the entirety of the most important story she's ever heard in her life. All she remembers is "blah blah blah SPARKLEPIRE blah blah blah I LOVE YOU EDWARD!"

Bella can see that Jacob really wants to share, but something is stopping him. She offers to run away with Jacob alone so he can get out of whatever lifelong commitment he's found himself in -- why Bella is suddenly willing to leave Charlie behind to live on the run forever with Jacob, I don't know -- but Jacob says it can't happen, as much as he'd like to do her it. Jacob recommits to doing whatever he can for Bella, even if it's sometimes impossible or he might maul and/or eat her because he's a damn werewolf and why can't you figure this out Bella?

Jacob leaves, and Bella goes back to sleep. Bella, the most literal dreamer in the world, has a dream very similar to the one she had after Jacob told her those stories last year. There's a vampire and a werewolf. A werewolf! At least Bella's subconscious can think for itself. When she wakes up, she finally figures it out: Jacob is a werewolf. Bravo, Bella Swan, bravo.

Bella wonders why the people she's closest too aren't human. She wonders what it says about her, and comes to this conclusion:

"It said that there was something deeply wrong with me."

Truer words were never spoken, whether the author realizes it or not.

Now that Bella knows, she's ready down to La Push early in the morning. Charlie warns her to watch out for giant wolves, because yet another victim has been killed, and a wolf was sited in the area just minutes later. Now, Bella's already been right about something once this chapter, which is way above her quota. So she jumps to the entirely wrong conclusion about what's going on: her super gentle friend and his buddies who he has repeatedly told her are very cool guys, all of whom has sworn to protect their ancient tribal land, are randomly eating tourists for no apparent reason. And instead of trying to verify this, the whole idea scares her away from going to La Push at all.

Well done, Bella. In fact, when it becomes clear that Charlie (acting as Police Chief Swan -- I'm not sure if I mentioned his job) is going to help hunt down the wolves, Bella debates whether or not she should even warn Jacob. Her best friend. That someone might shoot him. Not that she even considers the fact that a giant legendary creature that can kill a vampire might be able to handle itself, but assuming they were in danger, I think most people would prefer their best friends not be killed. Especially when a few hours earlier, you were willing to basically elope with them.

Poor Jacob. With friends like Bella, who needs vampire enemies?