Chapter Seventeen: It's almost game time!

Edward didn't just give Jacob the keys to any old car. Jacob's got the reins to an Aston Martin Vanquish! Jacob drives around being angsty for a while, before finding himself somewhere in the area between Seattle and Tacoma. His goal? Find a girl to imprint on, because that's totally how it works. Right?

Eventually, Jacob decides to hang out at a park. He shows he's a real rebel by parking the car across two handicap spaces! Jacob's plan for today is to be as creepy as possible by noticing every little thing about every girl who walks by. But after a while, he gets even creepier -- he starts to notice the things in the other girls that remind him of Bella.

Just when he's decided that he's had enough of acting like a creepy old man, Jacob is approached by one of the girls he was semi-stalking earlier. She asks him where he picked up the stolen car. Jacob tries to explain that it was given to him by a sparkling vampire because his best friend who he's in love with is having a mutant half-vampire baby and will probably die during childbirth, but that explanation doesn't quite fly.

Turns out that the girl's name is Lizzie. She's smart, pretty, funny, and knows cars. Basically, the perfect girl if you pick your mates by filling out a checklist. But alas, neither love nor imprinting works that way, so Jacob is out of luck. He's pretty much resigned to being alone, especially since everyone agrees Seth should stay in La Push when the werewolf tiff is over with. At least Jacob will always have Leah to mope with!

Heading back to Cullen Manor around dusk, Jacob finds Edward waiting for him. Jacob remembers that he had planned to wreck the car. Oops! Maybe next time.

Edward wants to chat about a few things. First, there's Leah. She came in and basically raked Bella over the coals for making like tough on Jacob. She did that by...existing, I guess? It's not her fault she has some sort of feelings for Jacob. It's not like she came up with the "sleep with Jacob on the weekends for procreation purposes" plan. But Leah was pissed, and Edward wants Jacob to use his Alpha powers to shut her up. Jacob won't do that, but he's willing to talk to her. Besides, it's probably out of her system by now anyway.

Other than the Leah madness, Bella's doing better. Apparently, the baby is already pretty intelligent. What a surprise! It can even understand other nearby people, at least to some extent. It's even trying its best not to hurt Bella, because it loves Mommy soooo much.

On the downside, the baby is simply getting too big, and when Carlisle gets back from acquiring more blood, Edward wants to convince him to deliver the baby now. Edward is now convinced that Bella will make it, with the cooperation of Superbaby.

Which brings him to his next point. Of course, Edward wants to save Bella by turning her into a vampire, which is pretty much Bella's dream come true. But there is still the nasty business about that treaty thing. Edward wants an official exemption for Bella, since it's her choice and they'll be saving her life and not eating her even a little bit. Jacob thinks he wants Sam, since he's the main Alpha dog, but Edward points out that Jacob is the true heir to the Alpha position, and thus the only one who can really change the original treaty terms.

Jacob takes a little time to think about this. He chats with Seth, he gives Bella a quick hello. She apologizes for stuff, because that's her biggest skill. And finally, he agrees to give Edward permission to vampirize Bella if necessary.

So everything's fine now, right? Not so fast, my friend.

Bella tries to take a little walk, and is rewarded with a ripping sound from somewhere inside her body. This is followed by shrieking, vomit and fountains of blood. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this baby is coming out right now, and that you do not want to miss this.