Chapter Eighteen: Game called due to threat of vampirism.

When we last left the baseball game, the Cullens were preparing for the arrival of a new group of vampires to bolster their roster. They badly needed a left-handed bat and a reliable middle reliever, so normally they'd welcome their undead friends with open arms.

Unfortunately, they had something of a Bella problem. She's so annoyingly human, and most vampires really enjoy a nice warm human snack during the 7th inning stretch. To them, it's just like buying some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. So when three vampires emerge from the forest, Edward is a little more concerned about Bella's safety than how these new players will affect his spot in the lineup.

Carlisle plays it cool. When the vampires introduce themselves as Laurent, Victoria and James, he responds by introducing the entire family together, including Bella. Laurent is interested in their permanent residence, and the vampires talk shop -- where they hunt, where the tastiest humans are in the Seattle outskirts, and so forth. Unaware of the human in their midst, the assorted vampires have a pleasant conversation, where Carlisle claims the game is over and instead invites the newcomers over to their house to hang out. It's all going according to plan...

...until the wind gusts up a little, and smelly old Bella's aroma fills the noses of every vampire in the Pacific Northwest. While Laurent is merely stunned that they'd hang out with this boring girl who trips over things all the time, James smells a challenge (and freesia). When Edward immediately takes a defensive posture, that seals the deal -- James, a natural tracker, is going to score him some Bella.

While Laurent takes the invitation to hang out at the Cullen household for a while, Edward, Alice and Emmett leave with Bella in the jeep. The rest of the chapter consists of the three Cullens and Bella yelling at each other a lot, fighting about how best to make sure Bella doesn't get eaten. James will likely track Bella no matter where she goes, so they need to be wily. Apparently, being a vampire and spending most of your life hiding your existence doesn't give you any insight on how to hide from other vampires, because they ultimately agree to Bella's plan.

In essence, here's her idea: she'll go home, cause a scene and tell Charlie that she's going back home to Phoenix immediately. Now here's the genius part: James will hear the plan that she's going to Phoenix! This means that Bella can choose to go anywhere else in the entire world -- he'll be stumped!

Wait, that's not right. Her plan is that he'll hear that she's going to Phoenix, and therefore assume that it's a ruse and that she's NOT going to Phoenix. Therefore, she'll be safe...in Phoenix. Because he'd never follow up on that lead, just in case. Brilliant, Bella. You make such good decisions. At least Bella will take some Cullen backup (Alice and Jasper), and Edward will stay in Forks to throw James off a bit. At some point, the Cullens will have to kill James -- it's the only way he'll stop.

So, we head back to Bella's house, ready to set the plan in motion. There's no action yet, but there's no way Meyer can write her way out of this jam without making something happen.

I hope.