Chapter 17: Ball in play, vampire(s) recorded.

Don't think about my title too much - it only makes sense if you're such a big baseball fan that you watch games online through the MLB website.

Bella and Edward return to her house, where they run into the Blacks. Billy wants to tell Charlie that his daughter is dating a vampire, but Bella somehow convinces him that it's none of his business. When Charlie gets home, Bella introduces Edward as her boyfriend, which Edward handles gracefully. For instance, he DOES laugh at Charlie's jokes, but he DOESN'T eat him. That boy has good vampire manners.

Blah, blah, blah. We know what we're here for in this chapter: VAMPIRE BASEBALL!

Bella is not such a big fan of baseball, but like many girlfriends, she's willing to suck it up and go out and support him while he's playing sports. Today's game is an intersquad matchup between members of the Cullen family, being played outside of Forks in a really, really big field. Why such a big field you ask? Because our super-vampires hit the ball very hard -- they need the thunderstorms to mask the sound of their swings -- and run very quickly. Here's the rundown of the team they'll be leaving spring training with this year:

Alice (Pitcher) - A wily veteran, she doesn't have overpowering stuff, but relies on her deceptive delivery to get batters out.

Emmett (Outfield) - Huge power bat, can hit the ball a few miles into the woods. Not great in the field; takes bad routes to the ball and often gives up an extra base.

Edward (Outfield) - Gold glove contender with huge range. Intelligent hitter who finds the gaps and runs the bases well. Godlike good looks will lead to massive endorsement deals (Bella made me write that part).

Jasper (Catcher) - Slap hitter with good hands behind the plate, and rare speed for a catcher -- he's been known to beat out an infield hit.

Rosalie (Outfield) - Speedy, sure handed outfielder with good baserunning instincts.

Carlisle (Infield) - Provides important veteran leadership to an otherwise young team, prone to eating the opposition at inappropriate times. Still has a lot of pop in the bat even this late in his career.

Overall, you have to like their chances. I'd think the Mariners would probably win a few more games if they were progressive enough to allow vampires to play. Couldn't Edward be the vampire Jackie Robinson?

That said, vampire baseball was a little disappointing, like most things that hold any promise in this book. They hit the ball and run around a bit, scoring runs back and forth...until Alice perks up. It seems there's a visiting team of vampires (see? PLOT!) who heard the crack of the bat and want to join in the fun. Really, that's what they're coming -- they'd like to play some baseball. It's a nice distraction from the constant human hunting.

Even if these vampires weren't friendly -- and I'm sure they're not -- the Cullens would be happy to let them join in the game on most days. Sports can build bridges and help people (or vampires) relate to one another, so a game might smooth over any potential tension between the two groups. But with Bella at the field, it's a recipe for all hell to break loose. These other vampires might be chagrined that a nice, yummy lavender scented snack will be right on the field, but they won't be allowed to have a bite.

The Cullens do what they can to make Bella less conspicuous, but she's really smelly, so there's no good way to hide her. It's too late to run, because the other vampires are only a couple minutes away, and even Edward will be slowed down a little with Bella on his back.

As the chapter ends, the Cullens hear the other vampires approaching. This is the perfect setup for a vampire showdown...but we're reading Twilight, so don't expect too much.